Tuesday, September 23, 2008

To Whom It May Concern...

Dear World,

If I ever am kidnapped by a crazy scientist who wants to harvest my pituitary gland, and during the last-minute rescue I go into cardiac arrest, and the bad guy you were holding a gun on has run away anyway, please attempt standard CPR.

Please do not call your father (who, despite being a research scientist and not a physician and also despite having spent the last 30 years in a mental institution seems to be completely up-to-date in the theory of modern defibrillation techniques) on your cell phone and ask him to help you use random lab equipment and 120v A/C current to construct a field defibrillator out of an oscilloscope and a pile of phone books.

Standard chest compressions and rescue breathing would be fine. Thank you.

That is all.

2 comments:

wallen said...

Duly noted.

Fine for character development, but didn't really pass the reality test-- if we can apply that test to a program that features pseudo-science as a major trope.

Oh, and if I'm going to age from an infant to an old man in half-an-hour, for god's sake, give me some food! Protein mass is needed!

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